This weekend, Richard and I get two full days of in-person visits since I drove up to Blythe. I was fostering a Frenchie for a few weeks and I had an early 4 AM start to first drop Taz off in Claremont California. The Frenchies United Rescue non-profit was hosting a Howl-o-ween event to raise funds for Taz to get a special ear surgery he very much needs. After I dropped him off, I had a smooth drive of an hour and a half to Chuckawalla to see my husband.
I've attended dozens of visits now over the course of a year or so. I usually bring money with me for food and drinks to visit only to be told there are none available. So this time I brought only $8 dollars with me, my key FOB, and my I.D. in my clear bag. The prisons have not had food for inmates and their families for over 6 months, possibly longer. Of course, today Chuckawalla finally had hot meals, and drinks, and restocked the vending machines. I was disappointed I had not planned ahead but I was lucky to get Richard a $3 Gatorade and a $2 Cup of Noodles. He is grateful for anything.
Usually, when I visit, we are one of the only ones in the room. But today there were hundreds of families visiting. Our visit was amazing regardless. I kicked Richard's ass in Corn Hole, Connect 4, and Uno. Richard said he let me win though. I don't believe him. I did though lose in pingpong. (He told me not to leave that out.)
It was wonderful to kiss, hug, hold, and sit next to him with my head on his shoulders. Previously, we visited with plexiglass and a wall phone at the jail. At Wasco and SCC, for in-person visits, you sit across from each other, bent over uncomfortably on small glass tables. You can tell other people are uncomfortable, but you put on a brave face for your loved ones. You experience it too and sometimes that means no food or drinks for 5 hours or longer. Part of the criminal justice system is to dehumanize the inmates and strip away their rights, and basic necessities. As someone with a loved one in prison, you can feel that.
Physical intimacy unless at the beginning and end of the visit is discouraged at the jails, and especially these hub prisons. Yet at CVSP, we get to hug, hold, and get to sit so close next to one another that we can experience intimacy again. I love placing my head on Richard's shoulders because it makes me feel like we are back relaxing together. Sometimes, it makes me emotional because I miss his touch so much. It is the most unnatural feeling to be watched, as well as, timed when you hold hands, hug, or kiss someone. I can't wait to hold Richard tightly again knowing I don't ever have to let go. Tomorrow we will get another amazing visit and then I will be back next month.
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